Once more, with feeling

At their infant son Michael’s baptism, Tom and Sally stood at the altar with their son’s godparents and their 3-year-old daughter, Katie. As part of the baptismal rite, the priest invited all of them, including Katie, to mark Michael’s forehead with the sign of the cross.

“For me, that moment was a brush with the divine,” Sally remembers. “Katie’s loving touch, her simple symbolic gesture, so clearly united the two of them in the world with God in heaven. The idea of her loving him, and the two of them showing God’s care and tenderness to each other through the many phases of life they would share, was so palpable and so clearly an act of God. It was as forceful as lightning for me. That day will always be an example of what a sacrament can and should be. It’s one of the greatest gifts of my life.”

Our children’s sacraments can be moments of God’s grace for parents as surely as they are moments of grace for children. For parents who didn’t pay too much attention the first time around, children’s sacraments also offer a second chance to learn, listen, and be open to the movement of God.

Carol, a director of religious education for her parish and mother of four, sees many parents who reconnect with their own faith as their children are preparing for a particular sacrament. “Sacramental preparation for children can be a re-awakening for parents,” Carol says. “Especially when the materials used for preparation are to be done as a family, the parents are able to appreciate the sacraments more deeply. It gives them an opportunity to really reflect on what they believe.”

Some parents say they weren’t ready to hear about sacramental grace when they were preparing for the sacraments themselves, but now, with more life experience, they see value where before they saw tedium.

“In the 30 years between my own first reconciliation and my son’s first reconciliation, I didn’t go to reconciliation at all,” says Jeff, father of two. “I felt like, why should I confess my sins to a priest? I can say I’m sorry to God directly. But as I’ve seen how sin breaks relationships and tears apart families, I understand that there is something powerful about naming my sin out loud. Reconciliation changes me in a way that a private prayer cannot. I didn’t understand that when I was younger.” …continued next week

—by Annemarie Scobey, from the pages of At Home with Our Faith, Claretian Publications’ print newsletter for parents on nurturing spirituality in the home. Winner of the 2012 Best in Class award from the Associated Church Press, as well as a First Place General Excellence award from the Catholic Press Association for the past three years running. Here’s a sample issue.

We offer very low rates for parish use, as well as our free Moms’ Night Out monthly discussion guides.

And don’t miss our popular single-page parish handouts on handing on the faith, helping kids understand the Mass, Lent, and Advent.

New! Like us on Facebook and follow Homefaith on Twitter.

Tips on managing kids’ activities

From parents who have been there—or are there right now.

•  “When choosing among activities, we look for those lifetime activities that people continue to be involved in after they’re done with their schooling—cross country running over lacrosse, for example.”   —Denise, mother of three

•  “We will not miss Mass for a game or practice. If there is a game Saturday afternoon and Sunday morning, one will have to be missed. We might not be able to go to Mass as a whole family; some of us will go Saturday and some on Sunday, but with some flexibility, Mass is not skipped.”  —Carol, mother of four

•  “Learning to find the lesson in the various activities they do takes time, but usually you can break down things into how we should treat people and how God wants us to behave.” —Scott, father of two

—by Annemarie Scobey, from the pages of At Home with Our Faith, Claretian Publications’ print newsletter for parents on nurturing spirituality in the home. Winner of the 2013 Best in Class award from the Associated Church Press, as well as a First Place General Excellence award from the Catholic Press Association for the past three years running. Here’s a sample issue.

We offer very low rates for parish use, as well as our free Moms’ Night Out monthly discussion guides.

And don’t miss our popular single-page parish handouts on handing on the faith, helping kids understand the Mass, Lent, and Advent.

New! Like us on Facebook and follow Homefaith on Twitter.

A Blessing for Mothers of All Sorts, Sizes, and Shapes of Body, Mind, and Spirit

• O mothers, one and all, some of you have carried your children in your womb. Others of you have welcomed babes in need of your attention who came to you from another birth mother. May the love you’ve extended return to you a hundredfold.

• O mothers, do not live in regret of what you wished you would have done, or what you did do and wished you had not. As you look back on your mothering, may you remember that you tried to do your best.

• O mothers, those of you for whom much of your life with your children is before you, do not imagine you can do this alone. Remember it takes a lot of leaning on the Divine Mother whose heart enfolds every mother and child. May you draw strength daily from her kindly presence.

• O mothers, do not forget to care for yourself. Find what enriches and enlivens your deepest self. May you have the vitality it takes to generously give of yourself daily.

• O mothers, you who have gone on to another sphere of life. We bring you to mind and heart today. May the peace you now have seep into the weary and troubled places of mothers’ hearts everywhere.

By Joyce Rupp, a Servite sister and author of many books, including her latest, My Soul Feels Lean: Poems of Loss and Restoration (Ave Maria).  Reprinted with permission.

 

 

How do you hand on the faith to your children? Send us your stories.

At Home with Our Faith, Claretian Publications’ award-winning newsletter for parents, is seeking your stories and examples of how you are handing on a living faith to your children. Feel free to answer any or all of the questions below. Please identify yourself by first name and tell us how many children you have.

If your answer is used in At Home with Our Faith, you’ll be identified only by first name and number of children. Thanks for sharing what has worked for you in passing on the faith!

1. What is the area of your faith life that you feel you are best equipped to teach or pass on to your child? (Examples: praying, concern for the poor, regular church attendance, belief in the sacraments, forgiveness, helping neighbors, living a moral life–anything in your life that you connect with your faith.)

2. Give an example of a moment that you felt that you taught something important to your child about an aspect of faith (and this includes moral life, how God is present in both good and bad situations, trust in God).

3. Give an example of a parent you know who has taught something important about an aspect of faith to his or her child.

Many thanks!

 

 

Balancing act, part two

See children’s talents as gifts from God. Denise and Arthur, parents of three children ages 4 to 11, keep guidelines in mind as they choose activities for their kids. “The younger the child, the more time with us. The older the child, the more time with others and making decisions on how to balance time,” Denise says. “If we miss signing them up for something for which they have a real talent, we are not going to stress over this. We believe God is generous and gives us more talents and gifts than we can ever really use.”

Parents who feel they may never say no to their children’s desire to join one more sport or activity are at risk for a frenetic family life that damages parents and children alike. The responsibility of parenting a gifted artist or athlete includes helping the child develop a sense of stewardship regarding his or her gift.

John and Anne, parents of four, take this approach. “We value making choices, and weighing value. We try to discern what God’s will is for our time and talent—who is served by what we do,” says Anne.

Listening to kids—and teaching them to listen to themselves. Parents of middle-schoolers and teens need to begin to nudge their children toward their own decision-making but also keep an eye on the child’s physical, emotional, and mental health.

“What has kept our daughters in certain activities and out of others has been their desire, enjoyment, and level of skill and interest,” says Pam, mother of two. “We have watched as friends have chosen a state cup soccer game over a graduation, and we have not agreed with those choices. I think parents get so caught up that their child gets to a high-level team that they accept Sunday morning games, tremendous expenses, and family stress to maintain that status. Our place of peace has come from asking, ‘At what price?’ ”

Maria, mother of two teens, says, “When my kids have approached me with ideas, I try to listen to them and ascertain what’s in it for them before I clobber it with any of my preconceived notions, anxieties, or hesitations. I love watching my kids become who they want to be without me putting a handprint on it.“   (Here’s part one of this article.)

—by Annemarie Scobey, from the pages of At Home with Our Faith, Claretian Publications’ print newsletter for parents on nurturing spirituality in the home. Winner of the 2013 Best in Class award from the Associated Church Press, as well as a First Place General Excellence award from the Catholic Press Association for the past three years running. Here’s a sample issue.

We offer very low rates for parish use, as well as our free Moms’ Night Out monthly discussion guides.

And don’t miss our popular single-page parish handouts on handing on the faith, helping kids understand the Mass, Lent, and Advent.

New! Like us on Facebook and follow Homefaith on Twitter.

Balancing act

The Easter season is upon us, and amid the fashionable pastels comes another hallmark of spring—practices, games, and rehearsals. Baseball, track, and soccer seasons overlap with spring musicals and concerts. Add in a first communion, confirmation, and graduation, and you’re likely to have at least one day where your daughter is changing out of her frilly dress in the church bathroom and scrambling into her cleats and uniform.

Some parents embrace the many opportunities their children have, feeling there is little downside. Other parents approach their kids’ activity level more cautiously, wary of injuries and burnout that can happen when kids do too much too soon. Most parents are looking for that sweet spot of balance—finding the activities that engage their children without sacrificing the pleasure of having unstructured time as a family.

Your 24/7 sacrament, part two

We’ve learned to pray together. Franciscan Father Mike Bertram, pastor of St. Francis of Assisi in Milwaukee, feels that part of his responsibility as a priest preparing a couple for marriage is to help them feel comfortable praying together. He has noticed that on the Catholic pre-marriage inventory, most couples say they are uncomfortable praying together. “It is my belief that prayer is the most intimate activity of our lives,” Bertram says. “Many couples agree with me that they’ll tell God something that they wouldn’t tell their spouse. If that could be shared with a spouse, think how it might strengthen a couple’s relationship.”

One couple whose wedding Bertram celebrated now takes time at the end of each day to light a candle and mention someone or something from their day for whom or for which they’d like to pray. They then together say an Our Father and Hail Mary for each of their intentions.