“For me, that moment was a brush with the divine,” Sally remembers. “Katie’s loving touch, her simple symbolic gesture, so clearly united the two of them in the world with God in heaven. The idea of her loving him, and the two of them showing God’s care and tenderness to each other through the many phases of life they would share, was so palpable and so clearly an act of God. It was as forceful as lightning for me. That day will always be an example of what a sacrament can and should be. It’s one of the greatest gifts of my life.”

Our children’s sacraments can be moments of God’s grace for parents as surely as they are moments of grace for children. For parents who didn’t pay too much attention the first time around, children’s sacraments also offer a second chance to learn, listen, and be open to the movement of God.

Carol, a director of religious education for her parish and mother of four, sees many parents who reconnect with their own faith as their children are preparing for a particular sacrament. “Sacramental preparation for children can be a re-awakening for parents,” Carol says. “Especially when the materials used for preparation are to be done as a family, the parents are able to appreciate the sacraments more deeply. It gives them an opportunity to really reflect on what they believe.”

Some parents say they weren’t ready to hear about sacramental grace when they were preparing for the sacraments themselves, but now, with more life experience, they see value where before they saw tedium.

“In the 30 years between my own first reconciliation and my son’s first reconciliation, I didn’t go to reconciliation at all,” says Jeff, father of two. “I felt like, why should I confess my sins to a priest? I can say I’m sorry to God directly. But as I’ve seen how sin breaks relationships and tears apart families, I understand that there is something powerful about naming my sin out loud. Reconciliation changes me in a way that a private prayer cannot. I didn’t understand that when I was younger.” …continued next week

—by Annemarie Scobey, from the pages of At Home with Our Faith, Claretian Publications’ print newsletter for parents on nurturing spirituality in the home. Winner of the 2012 Best in Class award from the Associated Church Press, as well as a First Place General Excellence award from the Catholic Press Association for the past three years running. Here’s a sample issue.

We offer very low rates for parish use, as well as our free Moms’ Night Out monthly discussion guides.

And don’t miss our popular single-page parish handouts on handing on the faith, helping kids understand the Mass, Lent, and Advent.

New! Like us on Facebook and follow Homefaith on Twitter.

• O mothers, do not live in regret of what you wished you would have done, or what you did do and wished you had not. As you look back on your mothering, may you remember that you tried to do your best.

• O mothers, those of you for whom much of your life with your children is before you, do not imagine you can do this alone. Remember it takes a lot of leaning on the Divine Mother whose heart enfolds every mother and child. May you draw strength daily from her kindly presence.

• O mothers, do not forget to care for yourself. Find what enriches and enlivens your deepest self. May you have the vitality it takes to generously give of yourself daily.

• O mothers, you who have gone on to another sphere of life. We bring you to mind and heart today. May the peace you now have seep into the weary and troubled places of mothers’ hearts everywhere.

By Joyce Rupp, a Servite sister and author of many books, including her latest, My Soul Feels Lean: Poems of Loss and Restoration (Ave Maria).  Reprinted with permission.

If your answer is used in At Home with Our Faith, you’ll be identified only by first name and number of children. Thanks for sharing what has worked for you in passing on the faith!

1. What is the area of your faith life that you feel you are best equipped to teach or pass on to your child? (Examples: praying, concern for the poor, regular church attendance, belief in the sacraments, forgiveness, helping neighbors, living a moral life–anything in your life that you connect with your faith.)

2. Give an example of a moment that you felt that you taught something important to your child about an aspect of faith (and this includes moral life, how God is present in both good and bad situations, trust in God).

3. Give an example of a parent you know who has taught something important about an aspect of faith to his or her child.

Many thanks!

Parents who feel they may never say no to their children’s desire to join one more sport or activity are at risk for a frenetic family life that damages parents and children alike. The responsibility of parenting a gifted artist or athlete includes helping the child develop a sense of stewardship regarding his or her gift.

John and Anne, parents of four, take this approach. “We value making choices, and weighing value. We try to discern what God’s will is for our time and talent—who is served by what we do,” says Anne.

Listening to kids—and teaching them to listen to themselves. Parents of middle-schoolers and teens need to begin to nudge their children toward their own decision-making but also keep an eye on the child’s physical, emotional, and mental health.

“What has kept our daughters in certain activities and out of others has been their desire, enjoyment, and level of skill and interest,” says Pam, mother of two. “We have watched as friends have chosen a state cup soccer game over a graduation, and we have not agreed with those choices. I think parents get so caught up that their child gets to a high-level team that they accept Sunday morning games, tremendous expenses, and family stress to maintain that status. Our place of peace has come from asking, ‘At what price?’ ”

Maria, mother of two teens, says, “When my kids have approached me with ideas, I try to listen to them and ascertain what’s in it for them before I clobber it with any of my preconceived notions, anxieties, or hesitations. I love watching my kids become who they want to be without me putting a handprint on it.“   (Here’s part one of this article.)

—by Annemarie Scobey, from the pages of At Home with Our Faith, Claretian Publications’ print newsletter for parents on nurturing spirituality in the home. Winner of the 2013 Best in Class award from the Associated Church Press, as well as a First Place General Excellence award from the Catholic Press Association for the past three years running. Here’s a sample issue.

We offer very low rates for parish use, as well as our free Moms’ Night Out monthly discussion guides.

And don’t miss our popular single-page parish handouts on handing on the faith, helping kids understand the Mass, Lent, and Advent.

New! Like us on Facebook and follow Homefaith on Twitter.

Some parents embrace the many opportunities their children have, feeling there is little downside. Other parents approach their kids’ activity level more cautiously, wary of injuries and burnout that can happen when kids do too much too soon. Most parents are looking for that sweet spot of balance—finding the activities that engage their children without sacrificing the pleasure of having unstructured time as a family.

How young is too young? Some experienced parents admit they got out of the blocks too fast with their first child. Maureen, mother of five ranging from toddler to teen, says, “Early in my parenting career, I felt pressure to get my young children involved in everything. I felt as if my kids would be socially awkward if I deprived them of activities. Several kids later, by the grace of God, I have wised up and learned that overdoing activities wreaks havoc on good families and makes everyone feel crazy. Most importantly, ‘If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.’ Our current family rule is one activity at a time.”

Reginald, father of five children under 10, believes that young children first and foremost need time with parents. “My wife and I only have so much time to try and parent everyone while they are in the young ages,” he says. “Running them around takes us away from face-to-face time. I heard a speaker say that every kid needs a small town. And I think that as parents and a family, we are their first and hopefully strongest small town. I hope to develop other small towns for them—through more activities—when they are older.”  …continued next week

—by Annemarie Scobey, from the pages of At Home with Our Faith, Claretian Publications’ print newsletter for parents on nurturing spirituality in the home. Winner of the 2013 Best in Class award from the Associated Church Press, as well as a First Place General Excellence award from the Catholic Press Association for the past three years running. Here’s a sample issue.

We offer very low rates for parish use, as well as our free Moms’ Night Out monthly discussion guides.

And don’t miss our popular single-page parish handouts on handing on the faith, helping kids understand the Mass, Lent, and Advent.

New! Like us on Facebook and follow Homefaith on Twitter.

We’ve learned to pray together.

One couple whose wedding Bertram celebrated now takes time at the end of each day to light a candle and mention someone or something from their day for whom or for which they’d like to pray. They then together say an Our Father and Hail Mary for each of their intentions.

We still talk about our hopes and dreams. For some couples, the heartfelt discussions of dating and early marriage become distant memories as the daily grind of work and family takes over. A husband or wife may become afraid to even ask a spouse if he or she is happy with a career or an aspect of marriage or family life, for fear that the answer will be no—and then what? But couples who regularly discuss important issues find that they are more nimble and able to navigate their marriage. Problems are less likely to become a full-blown crisis.

Arthur and Denise find that two to three long car rides each year provide the perfect venue for these discussions. “We may spend most of a five to seven-hour trip talking about where we are and where we want to be. We do it so often, most of the discussions just lead us to readjust our path or refocus a bit,” Denise says.

When Jim and Pam, parents of two teen girls, found that their weekends were becoming consumed by the girls’ activities, the two decided on a Thursday date night to reconnect. “When we have taken that time, we always find out something that the other person was feeling or thinking,” Jim says. “The discussions definitely help us to understand each other and our wants and dreams for our family better, which I think makes us a stronger couple and family.”

Here is part one of this article.

—by Annemarie Scobey, from the pages of At Home with Our Faith, Claretian Publications’ print newsletter for parents on nurturing spirituality in the home. Winner of the 2013 Best in Class award from the Associated Church Press, as well as a First Place General Excellence award from the Catholic Press Association for the past three years running. Here’s a sample issue.

We offer very low rates for parish use, as well as our free Moms’ Night Out monthly discussion guides.

And don’t miss our popular single-page parish handouts on handing on the faith, helping kids understand the Mass, Lent, and Advent.

New! Like us on Facebook and follow Homefaith on Twitter.

Marriage is the only sacrament not conferred by a priest, deacon, or bishop. Rather, the husband and wife confer the sacrament on each other. There’s something both holy and practical about this. After all, 10 years into marriage as you argue in the kitchen about whose turn it is to drive across town to ballet class, there will be no priest in the kitchen to settle the dispute.

Marriages remain strong when couples move past the notion that their life should be a fairy-tale love story and embrace the hard work, commitment, and holiness inherent to marriage.

We’re working at it because it’s sacred. When a husband and a wife believe they were brought together for a purpose, they are able to turn back to that purpose when they find themselves drifting apart. Couples need to consciously decide to take time to talk and learn where the other person is.

“ ‘Make time for each other’ was the main point of my dad’s speech at our rehearsal dinner,” says Emma, mother of three. “And, of course, before kids and carpools and school commitments, that made no sense at all. Who else am I going to spend my time on? But the intervening 10 years have taught us how smart my dad’s advice was.”   ...continued next week

—by Annemarie Scobey, from the pages of At Home with Our Faith, Claretian Publications’ print newsletter for parents on nurturing spirituality in the home. Winner of the 2012 Best in Class award from the Associated Church Press, as well as a First Place General Excellence award from the Catholic Press Association for the past three years running. Here’s a sample issue.

We offer very low rates for parish use, as well as our free Moms’ Night Out monthly discussion guides.

And don’t miss our popular single-page parish handouts on handing on the faith, helping kids understand the Mass, Lent, and Advent.

New! Like us on Facebook and follow Homefaith on Twitter.

That last item? I bought six boxes of it last week, on sale. Though the boxes have gotten smaller lately, a bit worrisome, six of them still ought to carry us through a few weeks.

“I came,” says Jesus, “that they might have life, and have it more abundantly.”

Life, the cereal, has exercised a magnetic hold on my daughter for more than a decade now. Her dogged loyalty alone should qualify her to star in a commercial. Nothing—not even hot oatmeal—can lure her away for long.

Looking down at one’s list in the grocery aisle each week to see “Life” scrawled there has a definite salutary effect. As I scour food labels for lurking sodium content, for the iniquitous Trans Fat and his nearly-as-nefarious henchman Saturated Fat, Life reminds me that none of this food-policing will extend my life indefinitely. Saints Francis and Jerome were sometimes portrayed holding a skull to point out the nearness of death, but as for me, I’m going out to buy Life in the grocery store.

Jesus said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat, or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing.”

Last week some friends invited us to a memorial Mass marking the one-year anniversary of the death of their son. A 26-year-old who had packed much into his short life, he died in a hiking accident in Thailand, where he was teaching for the year. Before Mass his mother, my friend since I was a teenager, stood to speak of his passion for life, for making the world a better place.

I remembered her telling me about the day he arrived home from doing AIDS education in Africa, with his hair in dreadlocks. About his farming experiment in India. And how he found, to his surprise, that he loved teaching as much as he loved Thailand, where he lived in a treehouse.

Friends and cousins brought up the gifts, which symbolized the outpouring of grief and memory over the past year. His uncle and father reflected on how his presence lingers among those who love him. And everyone raised their voices in song, defying death to have the final word in this saddest of stories.

I found myself thinking, where else could we gather on such a day?

Jesus said to Martha, “I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?”

“You don’t have to be afraid of death, because you’ve already died with Christ!” our former pastor would roar. (I think my friend’s son had already figured this one out, young as he was.) On the Sundays after Easter Father Don Headley would put this robust belief into action in what is daintily known as “the sprinkling rite” at the start of each Mass. My kids would jostle each other to stand closest to the aisle. Father Don liked his symbols big. Using an evergreen branch and a giant bowl, he would fling great quantities of water at everyone in the congregation. No delicate sprinkling, no politely tapping half the water off the branch back into the bowl so no one gets really wet. He launched the water at us. No half measures. “New life means everything!” said each splat. “Dive in!”

—by Catherine O’Connell-Cahill, from the pages of At Home with Our Faith, Claretian Publications’ print newsletter for parents on nurturing spirituality in the home. Winner of the 2012 Best in Class award from the Associated Church Press, as well as a First Place General Excellence award from the Catholic Press Association for the past three years running. Here’s a sample issue.

We offer very low rates for parish use, as well as our free Moms’ Night Out monthly discussion guides.

And don’t miss our popular single-page parish handouts on handing on the faith, helping kids understand the Mass, Lent, and Advent.

New! Like us on Facebook and follow Homefaith on Twitter.

Yelling “do-over” for a strong kick that had been caught for an out was quickly dismissed as unworthy. Do-overs were for mistakes and missteps that were uncharacteristic of the kicker’s normal ability.

My husband and I just took a parenting do-over.

Our youngest daughter Jamie turned 8 right before third grade began this past fall; she has always been one of the youngest kids in her class. For the past three years, Jamie has been doing grade-level work, but with lots of help from Bill and me at home. More time reading and practicing math facts on weekends. Summer tutoring and extra academic classes. We’ve been pedaling furiously—not to keep her in front, but simply to make sure she keeps up.

And suddenly this past fall, after a difficult third grade parent-teacher conference, Bill and I came to a conclusion that we arguably should have reached years before: We should have not sent Jamie to kindergarten when we did. Our daughter was in the wrong grade, and we needed a do-over.

The month following our epiphany at the parent-teacher conference eventually resulted in a decision to move Jamie to a neighboring school and drop her down to second grade. It was a heart-wrenching month of visiting schools, praying a novena for good decision-making, and staying up way too late discussing what would be best for Jamie and our other children.

After her first day in the new school and new grade, Jamie bounced into my arms with a joyful exuberance that made the difficult discernment process worth it. “Besides my adoption day and my baptism, this was the best day of my life!” she said.

Decision-making as a parent is complicated by the fact that while we may want a child’s input, we also recognize the final decision must be ours, not theirs. Good decision-making involves three components—prayer, time, and courage.

Prayer in a time of decision-making should be focused on being open to any direction God may want to take you. The human impulse is to take the path of least resistance or risk, yet often the decision that is best for us or our children may require a departure from our own plans. Praying for openness can help.

“When we were deciding between two high schools for our son, I found that I actually needed to pray to accept the signs God was sending me,” says Bob, father of two. “I discovered what I wanted was affirmation from God to send our son to a school I felt had more prestige. When God’s path for us started looking different than what I planned, I felt uncomfortable. Praying to be open helped me to be able to follow what I sensed was God’s will for our son—it helped me to listen to God and not my ego.”  

Time. Not giving a decision enough time can lead to an impulsive act that we eventually will regret. Decisions that drag on too long can loom larger than they deserve to be and can draw our attention away from other equally important issues in our lives. Each decision has its own reasonable timeline. Give yourself a deadline, but as you approach it, take it seriously without allowing it to take you hostage.

Courage. The few days just before you actually execute the decision are the most difficult. The reality of acting on the decision—not just thinking about it—can make us second-guess ourselves. Courage in decision-making requires us to believe that God will be with us, whether we are making the correct decision or not.

When Trinette and Greg, parents of three, had decided to move from Washington, D.C. to Milwaukee, the couple began to feel uneasy right before the move. ”Our pastor understood our worry,” Trinette says. “He told us: ‘Have faith that what you are doing is the right decision. It isn’t because of what you might find once you reach your destination, but that you found the courage to lead the life God set forth for you.’ Until that moment I had doubted and questioned our decision; when he said that, my faith was able to relieve my fears.”

—by Annemarie Scobey, from the pages of At Home with Our Faith, Claretian Publications’ print newsletter for parents on nurturing spirituality in the home. Winner of the 2012 Best in Class award from the Associated Church Press, as well as a First Place General Excellence award from the Catholic Press Association for the past three years running. Here’s a sample issue.

We offer very low rates for parish use, as well as our free Moms’ Night Out monthly discussion guides.

And don’t miss our popular single-page parish handouts on handing on the faith, helping kids understand the Mass, Lent, and Advent.

New! Like us on Facebook and follow Homefaith on Twitter.